Update - Business as usual

I would very much like to be able to share the happy news today that I am no longer amongst the unemployed. Unfortunately, that is not the case. All is not lost, however. There is some good news to share. I have three follow-up interviews next week. Best of all, all three employers are actually willing to be flexible enough to work around my class schedule, and have made clear to me that the pay is more than enough for me to live on without resorting to tuna fish sandwiches and trail mix every morning, noon, and night.

That is the good news. I will be able to finish out the semester, and possibly afford to pay for the rest of my schooling. (If you could only see the ear to ear grin on my face.) None of the offers requires that I get in front of a class to teach, which is a relief for me, since I dislike public speaking. There is a chance that with one of the offers, I may be constantly working with children.

Back to the regularly scheduled programming of me lamenting over my personal, yet lackluster quest to find that mate who wants to be a part of my life. Not that this is a good time for me to be thinking about it, but I guess when Opportunity knocks, there isn't any point in not opening the door to see what is offered.

About four years ago, I was invited to a friend's birthday party. She was aspiring to be a professional dancer, and had diverse friends from many backgrounds. At the time, I was interested in someone else, but hadn't worked out enough of the details with her to feel comfortable enough to invite her to come along as my guest. So, I planned on going there alone. Not the first time I went alone to someone's social function, and probably not the last time for me either.

Since my birthday friend had many friends from all over the metro area, it was no surprise that an email started going around for those in the need of a ride looking for drivers. I lived ten minutes away, so I didn't think to offer anyone a lift. However, one email struck me as I read through them seeing if there were any updates to the party plans. The person writing that informational email had a very intelligent and energetic way of writing. There was, to steal terminology that they use to describe singers, a timbre that resonated for me. I didn't know her, but I thought that from her email that she would be exciting, extroverted, and effervescent. For now, I will call her MK.

I looked forward to meeting MK and seeing if all that energy translated into the real person as well. I was not disappointed. When MK walked in to the party, I knew it was her. When I had the chance, I told MK that I knew who she was by the email that she had written. She commented to me that I wasn't the only one to recognize her by her email. But like most extroverted people, MK bounced around from group to group, and keeping MK's attention would require effort that I knew I wasn't ready to devote. Especially since I was already interested in someone else.

Because of the fact that MK lived within the borders of New York City, I didn't think to follow up on her, and I didn't expect to have many opportunities to socialize with her. Things were progressing well with the girl I had prior interest in. I am not one who likes to juggle, so to speak.

A few months passed and that relationship ended in a ball of flames. It ended based on how little time I was spending with the girl. Her complaint was justifiable. I was travelling all over the country for my company fixing machines. I would be home long enough to rest, do my laundry and then repeat. I didn't have time for her, and well, counting on her to wait for things to settle in my job backfired. And thus, began the "drought".

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and another friend wanted to get together to play some tabletop role-playing and needed experienced role players to augment the new people that were playing. So, with nothing better to do for entertainment, and with the promise that the entertainment would be free, I agreed to participate. I drove over to my friend's place and prepared to role play to the hilt.

Lo and behold, MK was among the new comers who was interested in participating. I learned that she had gotten her degree and she was now working as a teacher since we had last met. She still had that energy that impressed me so much the last time, but now that I could focus my attention on her in such a small group of people, I could see just how intelligent MK was. Mixed into this complex ball of intelligence and energy was that cute girlish, I've got a hole in the back of my head personality that both amused me and irritated me.

Fortunately, MK is capable of turning that personality on and off like a switch. When she speaks to me, it is always with the engaging intelligence that attracted me before. Still, there were times that she would say something totally at odds with that intelligence that I couldn't be sure if she really didn't understand or if she was just joking. Was it naivety or merely disingenuity? I could not tell if my life depended on it.

With such a quirky mix of personality, I'm not sure if I am interested or put off. I'm not sure that I am capable of getting into a relationship in light of the wreck my life is right now. As I've said before, relationships require constant attention. Without having a reliable means of travel, how does one maintain this interest? Soon, I may have a job, further complicating my life and stealing even more valuable time from my studies, let alone the time I would need for a relationship. Where does one find the time? How do some of the guys I know manage? Perhaps sleep is overrated.

We've met for three or four sessions now, and I wonder at what she thinks about me. Prior to this week, I hadn't put much thought on my interest in her. In fact, I had hardly considered her at all. I just hope that I am not bouncing from one relationship and into another just for the sake of having somebody to be interested in.