Recovery begins

I've taken an extra day away from classes becuase I am not in the right frame of mind to think about electrons and circuits. The weather reflected my mood perfectly as it rained on and off throughout Sunday and Monday. Today, for some odd reason, I woke up in a happy mood. This might be due to the fact that I slept for fourteen straight hours and knowing that I didn't have to rush off to class today. Kind of like when you didn't have to go to school when you were a kid and it wasn't because you were sick that day.

There's a low cloud cover outside, yet still, the sun manages to peek through somehow. On Friday, I had half jokingly mentioned to a friend that I was thinking about bicycling to class to save more money. We both laughed at the ridiculousness of that thought. Even if it is a mere ten miles away as the car drives, much of it is on hilly terrain and across some busy intersections, not to mention a stretch of divided highway with a speed limit of fifty five (and which people drive sixty five).

Suddenly, it doesn't sound so farfetched. I've been wondering where I am going to store my books, my papers, and my laptop. I certainly can't bike there with them. What happens if I get caught in a downpour? That also doesn't take into account what happens when I officially withdraw from my classes. This company that I've applied to isn't all that close by.

I've gotten over, for the most part, my mini depression. All I have left to remind myself physically of what I've gone through in the past five days are the bruises on my upper torso from the seat belt and the protesting muscles of my neck and upper back from whiplash. Mentally, I've pushed the feelings I have about what's gone on towards the back of my mind and I am thinking of what I have to look forward to as I attempt to extricate myself from this morass that my life has become.

I would venture to say that the last thing I need now is a relationship to complicate matters. I'm of two minds on what I should do about this current "thing" that is developing. On one hand, I can nurture this budding relationship and on the other, I can put this off as something that, due to circumstances in my life, simply won't work out. Most likely, I'm making a mountain out of an ant hill.

I've also been having trouble posting comments. When I try to look within myself for something pithy to share, I see an angry, tossing sea of emotion and frustration. Rather than unleash this tide in someone's comment section, I've avoided posting comments at all. It just wouldn't be right to try and write something that is uplifting and encouraging when I don't feel that way at all.

And I know that I should be posting comments. If for no other reason then to let you all know I am alive. Perhaps in a few days, I won't feel like such a hypocrite and post those overdue comments.

Tomorrow, unless I can finagle another form of transportation, I will most likely be biking to class. Try not to run over that crazy cyclist on a mountain bike tomorrow. I know I'll appreciate it!