Update on why I am now shorter by six inches.

If you read my last post on this theme, you'd know that I was quite upset at being relegated to "friends" status. There was a bit of discussion on whether she was trying to let me down easy or whether she just needed some time before she was ready to consider a new start. After that post, I backed off a bit to give her some room to find herself. Actually, like everything else, it became secondary to finishing some 15 lab writeups before Thanksgiving day break and taking four exams in four days. I didn't call her during that time and she hasn't called me either.

Today, I chanced upon a mutual female friend and this mutual friend let slip that the woman I was interested in was on a I-hate-all-men tear. I need to say that I am relieved that I didn't have to bear the brunt of that. I am also relieved because I am not ready for another emotional beating right now. Still, I'm torn because I'd like to give her a hug and then tell her that not all men are bad. Yet, in the back of my mind, I would be feeling hypocritical for saying this knowing that I am feeling down myself and I have some thoughts about where I want her to look for comparison.

If she really can't stand the sight of any man right now, would I be doing her good or harm by calling her to see how she is? Our mutual friend has cautioned me not to do anything right now. I am taking her advice and keeping out of the way, but as always, those who are peripherally invovled share a small part of that anguish in silence, for they have no reason to feel that way except in empathy with the person suffering. I am concerned and yet I know that she needs some time to heal some more, especially if she is feeling so bitter. The anguish I feel is that of being cut off from her presence at this time.

I am hoping that her bitterness will abate, and that she can get this vituperation out of her system quickly. I can't even imagine what she's going to feel like around the coming holidays.