Now shorter by six inches.

I'm back. Sort of. I am taking a break to stick my head out of my hiding hole to send out an update on my last post. Besides, I have some good news and some not so good news to share and it shouldn't wait.

The good news first, since the not so good news came after the good news. My quandry has been resolved! The person in question broke up with the guy she was seeing. I no longer need to do anything about that. In fact, she called me to tell me this. I could scarcely contain the joy I felt upon learning this.

Now, one of the qualities that this woman has exhibited quite often in my presence is a level of perception and observation that seems preternatural. It's one that I like, and that perception has often pierced my curtain of illusions. She can tell what I feel or want very easily. So, of course, in this same conversation, she told me the not so good news.

Yes, fellow bloggers, she gave me the "just friends" speech. (All wince in sympathy.) For those who don't know what the "just friends" speech is, I will endeavor to explain. It is a tactic, well rehearsed, often used and so simple to use that it's effectiveness against the enemy is nearly universally acclaimed. This tactic has been known to flank the well prepared enemy who thinks that he has the opportunity of an upper hand. And, my fellow "just friends," it is a well documented weapon in the arsenal of the secret Sisterhood To Destroy All Men. It's that moment when you think that you can advance your candidacy to become her man, (the studliness that will please her and make her beg for more) she tells you that she values you as a friend and could never endanger the relationship you have with her. (Did I just type that?)

There is a slight chance that after uttering this fact, I may trully be disappearing off the face of the earth, as I may now become persona non grata amongst the women who are merely sympathizers as well as the more active members of that evil Sisterhood. The actions they may take upon me are varied and often practiced. I am only a man, so they could lure me into another trap so easily.

This woman might as well as taken a knife to my heart. She might as well have taken a meat cleaver and shortened me by six inches. Or smear me in honey and throw me to a bear. As far as I am concerned, I have become that comfortable fluffy throw pillow that she cries into and then leaves for another opportunity to find some guy who will cause her to be unhappy again. Sadly, that perception I admire is lost when ever she goes looking.

This has got to be the year of strike outs for me. There can be no other explanation. What other reason can there be? I would swear off of women if my hormones would just let me. As the newest member of the castratos, there would hardly be need for me to try.