Self-centered People and Conversation Stoppers

As a shy person, I take notice of other people's conversations for the simple reason that I am curious to see what most people talk about. As a master of abrupt conversation and awkward silences, I feel that I need to listen to others to see what I can improve on.

Funny as it may seem, most conversations are centered around the person who is talking. Though, I would tend to think that a self-centered conversation isn't really much of a conversation. I don't mean that saying what one thinks is bad, just that most of what I hear is what that person did or experienced, not what they think. I, certainly, am most guilty of that when I post about my experiences. Then again, perhaps, it is a reason why I don't often post as much as I used to?

What I think is so private and sharing such thought is to ask you, an outsider, to enter my into world. Yet, I do that quite often when I post. This post is an excellent example. I defend myself, along with my self-centered written expression, with the simple reasoning that without those stories, you don't get the fullest picture of my situation. Seeing the anguish, the joy, and the confusion only explains why I don't interact well with others and explains my mindset when I do write about what I think.

How many people on this earth are truly comfortable with the dispassionate attention of an outsider watching their every move and considering these actions, their motives, all under the biases of the observer's experience or convictions? I am not, and considering the amount of effort we concern ourselves with what others think of our actions, most aren't either.

Which brings me back to what I started writing about. Other people's conversations. I was listening to two people talk today, and one person was constantly speaking in absolutes. Always insisting that what they thought was right and that their observations were best. I like to call this person a conversation stopper.

I can be guilty of this, though I usually try to back up my assertions with facts. However, even then, in a face to face conversation, this leaves no room for further discussion. A situation I have faced often enough to recognize them. Then, it becomes a lurch from topic to topic trying to find some way to continue conversing.

The conversation I was listening to was about cameras. Hey, a topic I profess to know something about! The conversation was a discussion between two major brands, Nikon and Canon. They were discussing an obscure technical aspect of these two brands. In this case, shutter mechanisms. A brief summary, Canon uses a motor mechanism and Nikon uses a spring mechanism. I won't go into any more specific details about that.

So, one person was asking about these two brands and wanted to know what the difference was. The conversation stopper, or CS for short, launched into a detailed explanation of both and finished his explanation (with a superior sounding attitude) that the Nikon's design was the better of the two. Thus, ending the conversation.

I was almost tempted to point out to CS that neither was really better, but a difference in design policy. Eventually, the spring wears out, and the motor might stop working. Both designs could fail before their intended useful life cycle ended. (See? I'm doing it again!) Personally, I don't really care which design they use, so long as the thing works as advertised for as long as they promised. Of course, that would have given away that I was eavesdropping in on their conversation.

More to the point, CS's conversational partner was now left to pick a new subject to talk about, since there were only two options left for the old topic. First was to agree and end the conversation. The latter option would be to disagree and get into an argument with CS, the very person they had asked for an explanation.

After writing about these two types of people, I understand why I don't desire to do any type of small talk, because either you are the small person talking about yourself or end up being talked down to. I sincerely hope that there is some reason to communicate or I might as well move to a remote location on this earth.