The path to....

The path to hell is paved with good intentions. It's a proverb that I have often noted in my life. I wanted to do the right thing, and somehow, things just kept getting worse.

I have mentioned in the past that friends, especially close friends, hold the keys to your heart. Whether they mean to or not, some careless comment can get past that fortress that one has built around one's heart to inure oneself from the senseless indifference and petty meanness that our society inevitably engenders. In spite of those closely guarded gates, we make small opennings into those walls to let a few, carefully selected friends in.

It is through one of these opennings that causes me pain and grief now. I wish I could describe the increasing animosity that engineering girl has displayed to me in these past two months. I haven't made any mention of what I think of her poor choice in the form of this guy she has gotten close to. I've been trying to be a good friend and supporting her in her supposed happiness.

I won't deny that I've made a few mistakes and probably shown the disdain I hold for him on occasion. However, I am not the only one amongst the small group of friends who know him and also think less of him. I won't go into the details, since this blog is supposed to be about me and not this girl, who is, in my eyes (as well as others), making a mistake. Lately, I've seen some dissension between the two of them, so I guess my friends and I will have to pick up the pieces of her broken heart when it all ends.

Still, I can't deflect the criticisms that she has thrown at me in these past months, regarding habitiual defects that I've always shown and never hidden, and never mattered to her in the past year and a half that I've known her. Yet they have suddenly become sources of contention between us. People actually shy away when they see the two of us talking to each other. I have no idea why I'm now being attacked as if I were her mortal enemy.

I have asked my friends who know her if they have noticed any changes about the two of us. Most have told me that she has changed and I haven't changed a bit. I can't seem to be able to hold a conversation with her that doesn't eventually lead into an arguement with more heated and contentious words being thrown at each other.

It's sad to admit, but I've moved towards avoidance simply so that I don't have to get into another fight about nothing important. It's as if we were on the tail end of a failing relationship. What's worse is that I'm not even getting to see any of the better parts before arriving at this point.

Anyway, to get away from this less than cheerful topic, I am guilty once more of getting gift cards for family and friends. My excuse, of course, is that I am a poor college student and I don't have time to shop, since finals end this coming Friday. I probably won't even wrap them. I get lazier and lazier as each year progresses. Lol.

If I survive finals, I may post more before this calendar year ends. I have a feeling though that I won't be posting until Christmas, so I want to wish that everyone have a Happy Holiday!