She's in a relationship? Really?

If you read my last post, it's possible that I might have sounded a bit forlorn over a friend's attempt at gaining some happiness. And I don't deny that a small part of me is unhappy about the current situation. However, I intend to go into those reasons in another post. (See? I plan on another post so soon after this one! *grin* I just didn't say when.)

Apparently, since the start of my friend's budding romance, for those who know the both of us, speaking of her relationship in my presence has become taboo. I didn't hide my interest in engineering girl, but I also left her a lot of room to make her own decision about where this might go. I find it a bit amusing that my friends, out of deference for my feelings, have not spoken to me about her and her new beau.

With my strong personality, my presence can easily dominate a room. So, when I am feeling low, it can be much like a rain cloud hanging over all of our heads. Since I won't deny this girl her happiness, I've made a point of mentioning her romance to each of our mutual friends and then asking what they thought of the relationship. Each and every single one of them has demurred to comment.

At best, they would agree that these two did appear to be in a relationship. One even went so far as to say that he was pretending not to notice that there was anything going on. I can only shake my head and wonder at it all. I'm far too perceptive not to notice the small actions of endearment that those in relationships often share. To me, her actions were like hanging up a 40 foot tall billboard in front of my face. I would be blind not to see it.

What I do hope against is that she may have entered into this relationship just to get a reaction out of me. I am old enough to understand that a woman isn't a possesion you fight over. For if she was fought over and her affection won, she would not be the type of person I need in my life. This woman would be someone who would demand constant attention and I am not the person who would give those overt displays of affection very often.

In fact, I would be much more pleased to discover, if ever a situation arose where I did fight over a girl, she would slap us both for being silly and tell us that she wasn't interested in either of us for attempting to duke it out over her. This is the type of woman I want. Someone down to earth, who has an upbeat personality, and knows what she wants. (Which happens to be me, of course. ;)

So, while I hope she is happy in her new relationship, I have to hold back my reservations about it and strike a path between what I feel for her and how our friendship will remain strong when she finally falls. For she will fall. And those reasons will be part of a new post that I might even get written up by next week.