Great balls of fire

I went back to class yesterday, high on the fact that I once again have an income, and knowing that I can continue my education. I was thinking that I might make it through all of this without too many scars. Of course, once I was in class, things became very interesting. Remember that girl with the wheelchair bound boyfriend that I had mentioned earlier whom I had resigned myself to being merely friends?

Well, as we were working together on one of the labs, things started back up as if nothing had happened. We were teasing each other and horsing around again. I was getting this intense vibe that seemed to shout, "I'm available!" from her. That unmistakable feeling that makes it clear that someone is interested in another person.

I couldn't be sure if it was merely unintentional or if she was making it clear to me that she was ready to move on. I was thinking that this situation needed to cool down since she already had a boyfriend. When I warned her that if she kept teasing me like this, I might have to do something drastic, she responded with, "So, what are you going to do about it?"

I don't know about you, but that seemed like a direct challenge to me. Kind of like building up a wall and telling me not to go through it. Drawing a line on the floor and telling me not to cross it to get to the treasure chest on the other side. Daring me not to do something that would just place me in a world of trouble. And in the back of my mind, I kept seeing her kissing that wheel chair bound guy.

As I looked at her face, I could see an expectant smile on her face. There were a number of thoughts running through my head and I couldn't pick just one thing I wanted to do. I could keep this thing going by encouraging this relationship. I could do something that would just make her irritated with me, which might egg her on to greater lengths that would build up the tension already crackling between us. I knew I wanted touch her and I knew that this wasn't the right thing to do. Besides this, I knew I needed to defuse this situation before it blew up in my face.

So, I chose to go on the higher path and told her that she'd just have to wait and see, thinking that this would give me a bit of reprieve from making a real choice. I could tell that she was disappointed. She gave me a slow smile and said to me that I "didn't have the balls to do anything."

Too late. It blew up. The glove has been tossed.

What the heck? I am trying to slow this thing down, and she was telling me that I was afraid! I think I need to sit down and have that talk with her about what is going on between us. I need to know if I am being that jerk who steals the girl away from another guy who can't do anything to stop it.