More about me that you didn't want to know?
Well, today is the 12th of March. The signficance for me is that about six months ago, I started blogging. Much like writing a diary, I am seeing a trend in which, as I am engrossed in the pageantry of each day strolling by, I write far better than I speak. If you were to meet me on the street* and we were to have a conversation, I would not sound even half as intelligent as I think I sound on this blog. Yet, hidden behind my stony demeanor, there is a loquaciousness that ebbs and flows with words and (hopefully) stirs with uncommon meaning.
So, when I woke this morning, I figured I would be pleased to see and thank the first person to visit my site today. I eagerly logged in, wondering who would be the lucky person. Instead, I found this referral from www.google.com:
Yeah. Great. I immediately felt unclean after seeing that. Thank you, google. Instead of bringing me more interested readers, you bring me some sick, demented human being with a fetish for vomit. So much for doing no evil. Apparently, I had suffered from food poisoning last year and wrote about it, mentioning something about puking. Which drew this person's attention to my lowly blog.
My festive mood left me quite quickly with that discovery. I wondered what I could possibly write or say to save this post from the baser desires of the flesh. As I thought on this more, I began to chuckle. My brain couldn't comprehend what any human being could find sexual about vomit (and it's relationship to toilets). The chuckles turned into stifled laughter. Then, I gave in and started laughing out loud. Laughing at this poor person who was so morally deviant to find that to be arousing. Finally, gasping for breath, the inkling of an idea on how to save this post came to me: Ridicule him/her publicly and let everyone see how disgusting he/she is.
So, I post this while taking great amusment over the thought of this person, who probably thinks that they are hidden in anonymity, and their unhealthy fixation on regurgitation. It would take little effort to strip away the number sign and find out the entire IP address. Instead, I will remain content in exposing his/her deviant sexual mores to all my readers. To better laugh at this person with all whom visit my blog.
* I just realized that if you're a regular reader of this blog, if we were to meet, I'd have nothing new to talk about. Talk about the irony.
posted by Grant @ 11:58 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
That's weird that a search engine concerning vomit would lead to your blog.
I find it interesting, which is why I visit.
This sounds all too familiar, Grant - both the weird visitors and the not knowing what to say in real life part.
I kind of wonder if I'm misleading people here on both accounts. :)
But really, I'm actually a very quiet, subdued person around most people and I never have much to say in life - but I blame that on the social anxiety.
First time reader and commenter...
There you go, you could talk about irony! I too feel much more eloquent in writing that person and especially not on the phone.
Angel:
What can I say, the person must have clicked on the "I feel lucky page or something.
Cinthia:
I don't think it's about misleading people. I think it's about saying what you really want to share that you can't say because something is inhibiting you. Being quiet and subdued has gotten a bad rap, it just means that we are more observant and thoughtful.
Cheryl:
Thanks for stopping by to read my blog, and welcome!
I see the person was from Australia. I apologise on behalf of my fellow countryman for being such a weirdo!
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