Family matters?

"Blood is thicker than water," it has been said. "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family," is another axiom that comes to mind. So it comes as no surprise
for me to hear that my family is splitting up for Christmas. By pure accident, we were not given the invitation to the family (on my father's side) Christmas party. So, my family started making plans.

For my part, I had planned to stay home and share Christmas with my pet dog. He's not going anywhere and well, frankly, he's a lot lower maintence than a girl friend (and no matter how often I leave him, he's always happy and excited to see me). However, today, we were given that belated invitation and most of my family isn't planning on going.

Some reasons are understandable, like one of my siblings, who works the night shift simply won't be able to skip that night because they are already too shorthanded. Or the other sibling who is going to their significant other's parents Christmas party, which, of course, that invitation was delivered in a timely manner. For my parents, they are still undecided. My mother has made it clear that she would rather go to a concert being held in CT. My father, being at a function hasn't said what he plans to do. Since it is my family, I have every intention of going. Even if it means going alone.

In the past, I've chastised my mother over her ever increasing ambivalence towards my extended family, but she is unrepentant on that front. I've often wondered where my social awkwardness comes from and I suspect I know from whom I learned this from. It's not that my mother is socially inept because she is a veteran socialite. As we, their children, have gotten older, my parents have become more socially active in different social circles. For my mother, where family is concerned, outside of her immediate nuclear family, she isn't concerned about how others behave or interact with each other. This includes my relatives. I'm not sure if she holds them in disdain, but when it comes to choosing where she would rather be, it has not been with my extended family. I admit that I have been guilty of this when I was in high school when the future was still rosy and bright.

I am concerend that this attitude will eventually cause the close knit family that my father has to eventually fragment. I've already watched her side of the family become more and more polarized. It has gotten to the point that I don't even know my maternal cousins very well, and they do not hold a special place in their heart for me and my siblings. In fact, when they do interact with us, it is as if we were strangers. It saddens me that they have grown apart from me. As time goes by, the consistency of that family blood will turn to the thickness of water.

A quote from Evelyn Waugh comes to mind: Don't hold your parent's in contempt. After all, you are there son, and it is just possible that you may take after them. I am a bit concerned over this and wonder about which side I will take after. In light of some of my recent posts, I have reason to worry.

On a different subject, one of my siblings ever so kindly pointed out to me that I am the only person who will be there celebrating Christmas that is over the age of 17 without a significant other. Wow, I feel that my mood is so much better already for that being observed about me. Really. No sarcasm here. No, sir, not one iota.

*UPDATE* I spoke to my dad this evening (12/20) and he says all of us who are not busy will be going to the Christmas party.