Alone at last

Today, I was struck by a sense of melancholy as I tried to find a dinner partner. I had just gotten off of work (I was called in on an emergency) and I was hungry because I had been too busy to get something to eat. More likely, it had to do with my co-worker's desire to share his relationship troubles with me.

Instead of feeling positive about being paid and receiving a generous tip from our client, I felt down and couldn't get over the feeling that something was wrong in my life. Listening to my over-sharing co-worker, I began to think that having a partner couldn't be all that bad. I tried to offer suggestions that might help things, and it became clear that even my feeble attempts at suggestions had already been considered, attempted and found lacking.

Also crystalized in his sharing was the reality that this girl he was dating had few virtues and far too many flaws. She took him for granted, didn't assign her undivided attention to him when he conversed with her, and was mildly antagonistic to him. He also was kind enough to call her while on speaker phone so I hear how poorly she devoted her attention to him. Not that I really wanted to be dragged into their relationship and its sundry issues.

As for virtues, sadly, they all centered around her physical attractiveness. Since I had never met the woman that vexed him so, I can't comment on that. I could easily see that his issue wasn't with her, but with himself and his inability to recognize how little they had in common. Worst of all, while he had "broken up" with this person, he was still hanging out with her.

I gently suggested that he consider letting her go and finding someone what was more of a partner instead of a-- I wanted to say leech, but obviously I am not in a position to know if that's true or not. I managed to put what I meant in a more euphemistic way; that this girl was in a less commited state and wasn't ready to dive in feet first into this relationship because she wasn't at the same level of maturity.

So, as I called friend after friend, looking for a willing dinner companion and became increasingly unsuccessful, I was struck by this melancholy and another realization. The true reason why he was still with this girl in their lopsided relationship is because he didn't want to be alone. And as I began to recognize that I would be dining alone tonight, I truly understood.

In other news, I found out early yesterday that the our team had been unable to compete because we didn't have the requisite three female players. Ah well. Perhaps next year.