Are you a friend?

I was reviewing some comments from a previous post and one commenter observed how as one's circumstances change and as common ground is lost, friends drift away. That looking back can be detrimental. It's not my intent to pick apart someone's comment, but those two concepts raised red flags in my mind. I also want to make clear, I think that this commenter isn't advocating running from one's past. Yet, I want an opportunity to rebut and clarify some things.

We are nothing but what our pasts consist of. We define our very culture by what has happened prior to this point. Every bit of our past affects what we do in the future. Despite the seeming need to "repeat" history many have, we have to consider this past to learn from and perhaps improve upon in the future. Where is the detriment in that? Whether we see that past perfectly or not, what we know directs how we decide what we do today and tomorrow. Granted, I kind of let myself get carried away, and I digressed until I became very upset, which made my point become very much lost in that post.

Perhaps, one day, I will understand the reason why I find myself so pained by my loss and find a way to address that in a mature and platonic manner with the parties involved. Until then, I continue to suffer in silence. Well, if you ignore the part about me posting it for the entire world to see.

And for the record, natural instincts aside, any unattached male is considerably more likely to "poach" then one already spoken for, if you know what I mean. It is something I decry, yet I find myself continously tempted to do so in this particular case. Each time we, the bride, the groom and I, interact, I find that these feelings have not diminished.

However, the point was supposed to be how proud I was of what my friends have attained so far, and how sad it was that we have lost contact. Not another flush down the toilet about how complex my personal life has become. Even friendships need to be renewed and reinforced. So, when I see that time and circumstance have caused us to drift apart, I feel that I am not holding my end of the bargain as a friend.

Are we friends if, outside the common bounds of a shared activity, we drift apart? If I stopped writing in this blog, would you, my fellow bloggers and readers of this blog, cease being my friends? By definition, friends should still remain in contact despite a change in preferences or the course of my life's events moving me away to an another area which causes me to remain out of touch. Or is that the fact that I am missing?

Were these people that I once knew, never really friends to begin with? Are they merely acquantainces of convienence? Were the things we said, shared and did together the only reason and basis for why we were together in the first place? Is the pride I take in their successes a waste of energy?

I tell you that I do not think so. I feel that these relationships have merely gone dormant, awaiting for a moment where we reach out and rekindle that friendship which has waned from neglect. Now, which friend do I contact first whose friendship I will rekindle. So many choices...