The parole of a shy person: Just sitting in a pool of negativity

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Just sitting in a pool of negativity

I don't know what has happened in the past few weeks.  Plans that I have made these past couple of weeks have been unrelentingly derailed by other circumstances.  Optimistic plans that would get me into a better part of my life.

My car stopped working this week.  I had been having trouble getting it started for a while now, and I knew that the starter motor was probably on its last legs.  Well, on Tuesday, it lost that last leg.  I was stuck without a car and I had to work on Thursday.  I was able to take the motor out in the freezing cold, -1 degrees with wind chill factored in, but couldn't find anyone to give me a ride to the auto parts store.

I was able to get a ride to work on Thursday, but I didn't have time to pick up parts to fix the car until today.  The part cost me two hundred dollars, and I probably saved that much by doing the repair myself.  Now I find myself a little short on funds for holiday gifts.  Which means going back on the vicious credit card cycle again.

One bright spot recently was that I bought myself a new laptop to replace the six year old one that has cracks all over the case and dead pixels on the screen.  And it arrived on my door step DOA.  After five phone calls and eight emails of escalating displeasure with the company, I was able to get a replacement sent to me in time for the holidays.  Of course, there is a hold on my credit card (again!) to get the replacement to me in this calendar year instead of the next.  Let it be a lesson to you, buying refurbished products is a minefield of problems.

Recently, I finally built a website to begin advertising my new business.  I had just gotten it online and about 90% completed and was putting in the finishing touches.  Then misfortune struck.  My web host had a fileserver go down, and all of my files were lost.  My files hadn't made it onto the daily backup.  Back to square one.  Fortunately, the 90% part is what I have. Unfortunately, my website won't be available until next year.

And while on the topic of my budding business, I have come to the realization that no one in my family values or supports my new career choice.  Talk about a blow to the ego.  They'd rather I do the stereotypical asian thing and get a good paying job as an engineer.  Why should I care to be happy doing the job that pays my bills?  This lack of value and understanding is probably why I am feeling so negative right now.

Also probably the reason I am cheered up by listening to Drowning Pool right now.  Not that I'd take a step in that direction.  Then my newly started business would come to an abrupt end fairly quickly and that would probably please some members of my family.  So, I guess I'll continue to sit in this pool of negativity until my ship comes in.  How's the rest of the world holding up?

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