It is better to give than receive

So, this evening, I stopped at the local chinese food restaurant to pick up some dinner. I saw a young asian girl there who I could tell was adopted, because she was pure chinese stock and her mom was caucasian. As an aside, I am glad someone wants to have her in their life that isn't bound by certain cultural expectations.

While I waited for my food, I watched as this young girl saw a sign where you put quarters in to help stray dogs and such. She told her mom that she wanted to put a quarter in one of the pockets. A very natural and touching thing to see a young child want to do that.

However, in that moment, my mind raised a mental alarm. I almost said, "Little girl, save that quarter. You may need it someday." What a snapshot of how my mentality and outlook on life has changed! I know that I now consider helping others out by giving a bit of what I earned a frivolous expense I cannot afford to spend money on.

This from the guy who used to donate an average of four to five percent of his net annual income towards various charity groups. Granted that's not a lot of money, but I gave what I could. The amount I donated is something like fifteen percent of my current gross income. I almost feel that I should be receiving instead of giving, my circumstances have changed so much.

I guess I'm a bit disappointed that another piece of what made me a better person has been stripped away by things outside of my control. And, in a moment of near weakness, I almost shared that gloom with a girl who doesn't know anything yet about our constitution. Let us hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is not too far away.