The parole of a shy person: When Pride Attacks

Monday, September 28, 2009

When Pride Attacks

As I have progressed on my path to becoming a professional photographer, I have had more and more trouble remaining humble. The reason I have trouble is that when I show the images I have taken or created, I almost always get great comments and praise on these images. All that great feedback makes it too easy to rest on my laurels. I know that I can improve, and the hardest part is keeping the hunger to get better.

It's not that I feel like I am a fraud or an imposter, I know I have the talent to do this type of work. However, I can't help but have moments of narcissism when I review my own work. And that is leading me towards contempt and arrogance. I can feel those ugly feelings rear their ugly head when I look at other people's work. And each time I get praised, I inch a step further towards that end of the scale.

I have found myself occasionally berating someone who is less experienced than I am. I've see myself saying the wrong things even as I despair within that I am behaving that way. I worry that I will get worse despite knowing that I am not quite good enough to have earned the right to have such an attitude or if such hubris is even acceptable.

I figure I would put what I feel out there and see if on the next post that I do on this topic, if I have turned from that path or if I've gotten worse. It's even harder to avoid becoming this ugly person because I am approaching that level of expertise far faster than is probably wise.

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